Monthly Archives: Jun 2012

Ignore the differences & concentrate on the similarities

Yet another new way of thinking about people that I originally found in the 12 step meetings.All ‘newcomers’ are advised to listen to others stories about their using,abusing and trying to get more with an open mind.Part of the thinking is the levelling of the playing field that needs to occur between say a full-time secretary who pops a few pills and drinks herself silly every night and a bloke that has been resuscitated twice in the past month and hasn’t known a job or secure housing for the last 5 or so years.

The ability to see that even though I never used a needle I could find a connection with a long-term heroin addict based on feelings and thoughts that we both went through in our search for peace through illegal substances was liberating.One of the tricks of my clouded thinking that had been strengthening the walls of isolation in my life was that no one could ever ‘get’ why I did some of the things I did and obviously vice versa I could never get close enough to any one else to ‘get’ why they did certain things.

Again I kinda gotta think that if this affects me then it affects others.If I am just nodding my head and making a few encouraging sounds when listening to a brother or sister that lives a life vastly different to my own because I can only see the differences I am losing the opportunity to connect.

Just to start the long list of the similarities I have with almost everyone I would choose the,at times almost overpowering,desire I have to know that I am loved.The further I walk with God the less power this desire has because I have the Spirit within me assuring me of a love I cannot lose and yet this desire still rears up at times.

So when I remember that I am a lost confused lonely little boy reacting to life’s difficulties with a mix of defence mechanisms that will push me into certain actions and/or words in certain situations then my next step forward is to remember that almost every one else is living life in a similar way.

That next step forward takes me further into relationships with others and opens up more possibilities to give and receive love.

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Posted by on Jun 10, 2012 in Uncategorized


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